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[03 Apr 2006|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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painfully frustrated. |
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music |
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interpol |
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I'm giving this journal two hours- two hours for people to read this post and realize how a lot of them will never see my face again, two hours to realize how amazingly pissed off I am, and then i'm starting a new journal.
I like your attempts at stop us, it won't last.
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[03 Apr 2006|04:37pm] |
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mood |
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edgy |
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music |
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Interpol |
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I put far too much pressure on who likes me & who doesn't, to the point where most of the time i'm not myself. I care too much about whether what I'm saying is dumb, so I edit what comes out of my mouth, almost to the point where around some people I say absolutely nothing. I know something has to change before you leave me completely, and I can feel it, it's just one more fowl step to the left.
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[02 Apr 2006|09:54pm] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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music |
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Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Step Mother! |
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I become more & more frustrated as time goes on, with life, boredum & people. Some things consistantly stay in my heart like: Ben & Jerrys and a few select friends. Aside from that, other things & other people are just draining.
My heart is exausted from all of this speeding up & slowing down & throwing in the towel & starting all over again, i'm on the verge of giving up & I can't even wait. (Watch me take that back)
On another note:
( Same Spot, Same Spot. )
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[01 Apr 2006|09:26am] |
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mood |
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dissapointment. |
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music |
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Red Right Ankle |
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Things get harder as we get older. It's now april, what we were all dreading & I can feel you leaving me.
&-
Usually i'm different around different people, this will change soon, I have a feeling it needs to & this is what i'll be working on.
I'll be comfortable around you if you're comfortable around me.
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[28 Mar 2006|01:03am] |
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mood |
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pesimistic |
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music |
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Neutral Milk Hotel |
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Lately I can't wait to sleep because I can't wait to dream & Even after a month of trying to convince people that April wasn't going to be bad after all, it will be, I can feel it. Everything seems to be falling apart & I have no controll over it & it's happening fast & i'm scared.
Hey you, stop being so damn fickel.
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[26 Mar 2006|04:27pm] |
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music |
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Electric President |
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But now we’re fresh out of heroes; now we’ve run dry on hope.
There are no saviors in technology: just quick fixes.
And holes, within holes, within holes, within you.
And a place to hang my head, and convince myself there is no difference.
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[23 Mar 2006|11:42pm] |
This is Regina Spektor, I wouldn't mind trading persons with her.
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| think of all of your friends, the ones who haven't left you yet, they will. |
[19 Mar 2006|12:06pm] |
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mood |
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hurt |
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music |
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My other car is a spaceship. |
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I hate being the disposable person I am. Yeah, whatever, it's nice that I am there, but if I were to leave, I think some of my friends just wouldn't give a shit. I need to find myself, because frankly, I have no idea what I am about. I am drawn to people that don't need me & maybe that is part of the problem, maybe that is part of my problem. So, I will be compleatly myself, & I will stop trying to impress you, let us see how it goes, & lets see how long you're with me.
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[18 Mar 2006|01:39pm] |
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mood |
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Amazed. |
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music |
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Something Vague |
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Last night proved to me just how much I love the people I surround myself with. People have their things- what they are good at, what they wake up excited about, what they love & I am pretty sure my thing is people. I think that is why I get so upset when one of my relationships fail, It makes me feel like i've failed.
I have huge bags under my eyes and a massive headache, too bad I don't give a fuck.
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[15 Mar 2006|12:00pm] |
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I can't remember being as happy as I was yesterday since that time I went to Disney World when I was nine.
I don't know what has come over me, and I don't know what chemistry shifted in my mind, all I know is that i'm back.
I won't leave again, I promise.
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[13 Mar 2006|12:21pm] |
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mood |
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amazing |
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music |
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stars |
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Time can take its toll on the best of us,
Look at you you're growing old so young,
Traffic lights blink at you in the evening,
Tilt your head & turn into the sun.
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[11 Mar 2006|08:53am] |
he means now.
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[09 Mar 2006|09:37am] |
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mood |
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happy. |
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music |
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cat power |
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fact:
it makes my day when i wake up to heather skipping school and laying on my bed
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[08 Mar 2006|11:23pm] |
FANIEL V. FOREVER.
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| Truth |
[06 Mar 2006|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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horny |
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music |
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Alan Jackson |
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I Lick Pig Ears.
[edit] i love my boys
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[05 Mar 2006|10:18pm] |
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( oh & )
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[01 Mar 2006|12:13pm] |
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music |
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third eye blind |
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my friends break into my house when i'm gone...
i'm sure they went rummaging through my things and AIM logs and now know all my secrets.
&&&
that's the price i pay for having amazing friends.
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deflue_memoria's journal